Health update March, 25 2018

I use to update about my health on Facebook but now you will get those updates on this blog, I know lucky you.
Since I have been in Pennsylvania my health has not been that bad until recently. My health was doing so good I was able to serve at a church with the youth for a few months and I even had the chance to preach on a Sunday morning. If you know me, you know that preaching is a passion for me and that was pretty great.
Well my sermon was on trials, which I told the Lord that was a bad idea but that's what the Lord wanted to sermon to be. After I preached On October 30th of last year a week later I was in the hospital with my normal stomach issues. Things seemed to be getting better, I had to take a trip to North Dakota a few weeks later to see a dying uncle. I spent a few more weeks in Iowa to spend time with my kids and other family.
Then I got back home and that's when things, I mean everything seemed to have gone wrong. In the early part of January I had to leave my church I was serving at. Lot's of issues and the stress was to much for me. So I walked away which was pretty hard in it's self. At the end of January I started to get sick. I have been running a fever since the end of January. The doctors keep saying something is wrong but they can not figure out what is going on. Symptoms are getting worse. I am having terrible shortness of breathe which if you have ever had that it pretty much sucks. So, I now have medicine to help those symptoms but it does not seem to be helping.
It is at least my normal to go through periods of sickness. It is hard to be sick and have no answers. What drives me crazy is that I can not do anything without getting out of breathe. I can hardly talk for very long and I love to talk.
As I am sick this time I am thinking a lot about the story in the gospels of the woman who touched Jesus cloak. She had spent all her money on doctors and they could not help. She was still suffering for many years. Then came Jesus walking down the road. She knew that if she could just touch Him she would be healed. So that's what she did she touched Him and YES, she was healed. We live in a time where if we are sick then we expect the doctors to heal us. Sometimes they know something is wrong but they cannot help us. I know that true healing comes through Jesus. Yes, He can use doctors to heal us but He is the healer.
With that story we see that with great faith this lady was healed, but I also know that sometimes we are meant to suffer so we will rely on Him. In 2 Corinthians Paul had a thorn in the flesh. He asked the Lord three times to take it away, God answered him by saying, my Grace is sufficient. God's grace is sufficient to help us in our suffering. Paul continued to say that when I am weak He is strong.
In my days of sickness and weakness I don't have to count on my own lack of strength. Because I know Him who is strong when I am weak.
So you not only get a health update but you also got a sermon :-) Please pray for me as I am very short of breath and struggling very much right now. I am pretty much stuck at home which is driving me crazy.

The Gift Of Suffering

The past few months have been an extreme struggle. When you struggle with constant chronic illness it can be hard. There is times where you relieve you might not able to do what you want to do or to put it another way your dreams are crushed. You try as hard as you can to keep persusing your passion, goals and dreams but your mind tells you to go but your body says not so much.

The past year had great times for me, but then things like it seems to happen often for me didn’t go so well. I dream of being a pastor some day but the last few months I have not been able to get out of bed. I dream of finishing school but again my health has not allowed. 

I have had a fever now for two months on top of my type one diabetes it’s been a challenge. In my dark days I am filled with regret for my past and in my dark days I don’t see much hope for my future. In my dark days I feel alone as I am not with my family. 

But God! But God will make a way. It might not be the way that I thought it would be but it will be His way. I often remember in my dark days that God will never leave me nor forsake me. 

I might not be able to be what I want to be, but I can be what God wants me to be. I have come realize that maybe God wants me to suffer well. To be an example to others that no matter what happens God is still good. When good things happen we brag and say God is good. We should do that, but we should also remember what Job said, should we not just except the good and not the bad from the Lord? We should except both with a joyful heart.

I have not written in this for awhile. I know I am not the best writer but I write more for me than anyone else. 

Life has been hard for me. Some of it I caused my self and I realize that. Some of it is because of my health struggles.