Step one.....

Had a rough night last night. Did not get to sleep until 3:30am for some reason. I have been thinking a lot about the twelve steps. The twelve steps can be used for  more than drugs and Alchol. Like step one. I am powrless over alchol can be replaced with any thing. I am powerless over my diabetes and being sick. I can do what I am suppose to do to try and make it better. But there is nothing I can do to tottally make it go away. I need to stop all ways being frustrated because that does no good. Worrying about what other peoople think of me allways being sick does no good. I need to give it to God and try and do the best I can. I all ways wanted to make big impact in peoples lives. And I don't feel I am able to do that. Maybe God's idea and my idea of making a big impact is diffrent. My idea is to preach and teach, but maybe God's idea is diffrent. I some times feel that I have no purpose becuase I am not doing what I think I should be doing. But maybe God's purpose for me is being where I am and doing what I am doing today. I need to truly turn my life and will over to the care of God and not just say that I am doing it! Today I am going to try and have a better attitude at where God has me today and stop wishing I was someone else!