A little humor

Peaches thoguht of the day 11-07-14: http://youtu.be/ESOsDPHvJUY

tools of the trade

Tool of the trade these days. The above picture I have my trustee insulin pump and behind me is my friend Beaker :-) Then I am using a cane now just because of my weakness and I am still unsteady on my feet. And of course my new feeding tube.

Below is my blood sugar meteor and all the pills I take. I could star my on pharmacy these days.

 When I am weak HE is strong! Good thing this is true!

Four belly buttons

On September 21 a Sunday I went into the hospital again and did not get out until yesterday October 7. Reason I went in was again for my diabetic Gastroparesis. I went to the Ames hospital this time. I ended up getting a feeding tube put in my belly. Now I will have four belly buttons :-) I guess God wanted to see if I suffered well. And of course I did not do the best. I had good days and some pretty bad days. My faith again has been stretched and tested. There were days of complete despair and wondering if God has just given up on me. But I made it through it and got home yesterday. When in the hospital it is easy to just update on facebook then to try and write a blog on my phone.

 

My aunt just died from type one diabetes. And that is what I suffer from and then add on the complications. I was a part of a facebook group that was suppose to be a support page for those who struggle with diabetes. Right before going into the hospital some one posted a comment that caused many reactions. The person said diabetes is easy and basically just get over it and move on. I am paraphrasing what this person said. Diabetes is not easy for me. I am glad that this person has had an easy time at it. But there are those like me that try there hardest and still run into problems.

 

It seems I am doing every thing I can yet I still am having so many problems. Life sometimes is just a struggle. Nothing seems to come easy for me. There are Christians that make Christianity look easy. But not me. I have to bumble and struggle. A lot of bad choices in my past.

 

I am not a Christian because I think I am better than everyone else, though I did think that way years ago. I follow Christ because I know that I am not good enough and I need Jesus. Years ago my pride got in the way of a lot of things. Then I was broken to the point that I now know Gary can't do it, but Christ can. I am a Christian because I need a savior and a helper in time of distress. Without Christ I am nothing. I use to have the attitude it's my way or the high way. Not like that anymore either. It's Christ way.

 

I do keep on asking God what is my purpose. Why do I suffer so much and why did He keep me alive while doing some pretty sinful things. More will be revilved they tell me and this to shall pass. I have to keep my hope on Christ and keep looking forward. It's to easy to feel sorry for myself and just focus on me.

 

Diabetes and the Christian life is not all ways easy. And if you meet someone that claims one of them are, tell them to write a book on how they do it. They would be rich!

 

I am divorced. And there are many opinion on remarriage and I have heard them all. A few months ago I reconnected with a friend that I graduated from High School with. One of my problems I am a people pleaser and want to please everyone. But it is amazing that this amazing woman with so much purpose and talent in her life has poured out so much for me that last few weeks. She has shown Christ love to me over and over again. I have broken up with her a few times not truly knowing what the right thing is to do. But we keep on getting back together and the more I get to know her the more I see that she has Christ in her. Instead of looking back it's time to look forward. Instead of trying to please everyone, I need to please Christ. I don't know what she sees in me, but she is truly pretty cool and I feel pretty blessed that she has stuck around.

 

Well, that's all today. I am going to keep walking.....

Start of August

The month of August started out pretty good. Had a great visit with my kids last weekend. We went to Noahs Ark in Wisconsin Dells and had a great time.
Then on Sunday I got sick with my bad stomach from diabetes and went to the hospital and just got out on Friday morning. While I was there I got pneumonia. So I am taking meds for that. Stomach is better, but now trying to recover from pneumonia. Which is pretty painful. It seems that my health is getting worst these days. Which is making it tough to go and see my kids.
Being sick all the time sucks, but I have to deal with it. One of the struggles is that my ex thinks I am not as sick as I really am. So when can't make it she turns it around and says I did not want to come.
I don't want to all ways wine about my health, but right now it's what I am dealing with.
I am still trusting in Him knowing that He is in control. I want to work but today I am not able to work. I often wonder when my health gets bad what is my purpose. Again I am trying to trust in Him.
I am going ti keep walking.

Diabetic awareness month

November is diabetic awareness month. We all probably know someone that has diabetes. Especially type two. Type two you get when you are older and many times you can reverse type two by diet and exercise and by loosing a few pounds. Usually if u have type to u can take a pill and not insulin. They know that type two is genetic. Both of my brother's have type two diabetes. Its a hard road to be on.
Now I am the lucky one in the family to have type one diabetes. I got diagnosed at age 14. I have had some major stuggles through the years. My junior high and high school years were pretty good. I played sports and was very active. In my early 20s I started getting really sick and throwing up. Finally I Found my self in Mayo Clinic in Minnesota in 2007 where I was diagnosed with gastroparesis. That is where your food does not digest properly and you end up really sickens throwing up. At one point I had feeding tubes. I all so struggle with depression and I am recovering alcoholic and have been sober since September 3 2012. That sure did not help my diabetes. It seems that I am all ways sick with some thing and diabetes is a huge struggle. Bit today I am going to my diabetic doctor and doing the best I can. I get down about having diabetes, but I press on. On Monday o had a hernia surgery and of course my sugars took a hit. But I keep on getting up and trying to live life one day at a time. I try to encourage others to keep on keeping on.
So what can we do this month? Well first gives diabetic a break. Over the past 20s years i have seen society change there attitude towards diabetics. Especially towards type two, but people are hard on us ones to. Just be helpful and not critical.
Second you can donate to the American Diabetes Association or other diabetic groups.
Third do some thing crazy to spread awareness. Like o am growing out my beard this month and when some one asks me why I am doing it I will tell them.
If I are in your 30s ans beyond do every thing you can not to get it!