My Hope

What keeps us going? It is Hope. Any time someone takes there life they have lost hope. When people throw themselves in the bottle they might have lost hope. When we give up on a marriage, it is the lost of hope. When we give up on ourselves it is the lost of hope. Hope keeps us going. A Hope for a better tomorrow. Some times it is easy to loose hope. I can now more understand those who are shut in and the struggles they must have. If you live with any kind of chronic illness you probably have had times where you have lost hope.

 

My Hope is in the Lord. Even though some days my faith is shaken. If I take my eyes off of Jesus it is so easy to start loosing hope. The day in and day out of my illness can get to me. I have asked questions the last few days like, where are you God? And why me? I know I am in trouble when I start asking those two questions. I need to turn around the why me to why not me? Would I wish this on some one else. Well.... no. Even those who I don' like very much, I would not wish this on any one. So today I am going to try and not ask that question. And where is God, He is right here with me. I don't know how people go through stuff like this without God.

 
Just took a little walk today. It is a really nice day. As I was walking this song kept coming in my head. " I need thee every hour...." I do need God every hour and every minute. When no one is around I need to encourage myself with things like this. Encourage myself through reading His Word. My strength is low. It is a big deal for me to just walk these days. But as I walk, sit, stand, sleep, cry or whatever I need Him and He hears my cry. Some days I feel forgotten by everyone I know, but God will never leave me nor will He forsake me. Pressing on and pressing forward not alone, but with God.

A lesson from Hosea....

Don't really know why but yesterday I read the book of Hosea. What an interesting book of the Bible. God used Hosea as an example of His love for His people. He instructed Hosea to marry Gomer who was a prostate. And like Israel she was not faithful.

Hosea Redeems His Wife

3 And the Lord said to me, ^(A)“Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins.” ² So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and a ^(B)homer and a lethech^[a] of barley. ³ And I said to her, “You must ^(C)dwell as mine for many days. You shall not play the whore, or belong to another man; so will I also be to you.” ⁴ For the children of Israel ^(D)shall dwell many days ^(E)without king or prince, ^(F)without sacrifice or ^(G)pillar, without ^(H)ephod or ^(I)household gods. ⁵ Afterward ^(J)the children of Israel shall return and ^(K)seek the Lord their God, and ^(L)David their king, ^(M)and they shall come in fear to the Lord and to his goodness in the ^(N)latter days.

 

We see here in Hosea Chapter three that the Lord told him to go again and love Gomer. Hosea went and bought her. This is a great picture. Even though she was not faithful to him. God told Hosea to go and get her. Today he probably would just have divorced her. And he could of rejected what God told him to do. But he obeyed the Lord. God used Hosea and Gomer as an example of His love for His people. Even though they were not faithful to Him, He still loved them.

 

God has patience for His people. Here he is talking about the Jews. But we can apply this to our lives as Christians. How many times have we been unfaithful to God and yet He still loves us and wants us to come back to Him.

 

Then I start thinking about my life. And how I sit here today as a divorced man. When we get divorced many times we try to justify it. And yes, my ex-wife had "Biblical" reasons to divorce me. But as I read the story above it makes me think that maybe divorce is never really the answer. I am still mourning over the lost of my marriage. Which I single handley destroyed. I have all so done a lot of acting out as an excuse to not deal with the pain of it all. And if I would of turned from my sin earlier than the divorce would not have happened.

 

In Matthew 18 before He gave the divorce clause He said this V.8 He said to them, Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was snot so."

 

While going through the divorce I was told by some that it was God's will for us to get divorced. Yeah, not sure if it is ever God's will for anyone to get divorced since God hates divorce. And now I know some of the reasons He does hate divorce. It breaks up a family. And it affects a lot of other people. I am trying to get passed the past. But the last couple of weeks I have been really hurting and having the what if's and all that fun stuff.

 

I don't know if I am making any sense today. And I do take responsibility for my actions. But even if it is my fault, it still hurts. With being divorced and all my struggles with type one diabetes I wonder sometimes what God's purpose is for me. I sure did a good job at destroying parts of my life. And the sickness keeps me from doing things that I would like to do.

 

Hope all of this makes sense. A verse comes to mind that is used out of context all the time. It is used for sports and other things. But I think this needs to be one of my new verses I hold on to. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

And I know that God can restore. And I pray that God helps me through all of this pain.

 

I am going to keep walking.....