Life is a lot like the seasons here in Iowa. The seasons change and life changes. In life we live in different seasons. Maybe it’s a season of blessing where everything is fitting into place or maybe is a season of sadness where we have experienced a loss or are going through some pain. And maybe it’s a season of change. They say in Iowa if you don’t like the weather wait five minutes and it will change. Isn’t that how life can be some time. I have realized the last few days that my perception on life is not all ways right. That’s why I have to go to the fellowship and go to church. Both of these places help me see who I really am. Then when I read the books, the bible and the Big Book I really see where I am and where I need to be.
My biggest fear in life is that I won’t matter. That I won’t impact the world in any way. That fear seems to come out strong when I am sick or in the hospital or just had surgery. But I have to step back and see that for me that is not the point in life. The point in life is to be more like Christ. That does not mean live by the standards of men, but the standards of Jesus. All those years of drinking never changed my status with Jesus. I am still His, He still has me as His son. We talk about forgiveness in the church. And on forgiveness I say talk is cheap. For me the hardest person to forgive is myself. Once I can forgive myself that is when true growth happens.
Any hoot, I say all that to say that today is my doctor’s appointment when I find out if the biopsy came back showing any thing and if I can go to Alaska next Tuesday. I can either worry or give those cares to Jesus. That is what I am learning. In life there are many things I can worry or get angry about. But if I truly believe that HE is in control what do I have to worry about? Don’t know if any of this makes since so if you can get something out of this that is good! So today I am going to keep walking!
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