Riding the Fence

When I was a youth pastor I would tell my students not to be riding the fence, because that fence is a bardwire fence. I told tell them with all the passion I could muster up that they need to fully follow Jesus with all they got or they may slip and fall.
I was remained of this last night at Bible study while the Holy Spirit was convicting me of me riding the fence. I did not think it was very nice of the Holy Spirit to use my own words from like 8 years ago to convict me, just saying. We are studying first Corinthians in the men's Bible study.
I am at a cross roads with my faith in Jesus. I am growing in Him more than I think I have ever. But in my heart there's things that I am having a hard time giving up. And those things are talked about in Chapters five and six. And if I follow the path that Jesus wants me to go many will think I am crazy.
As I was sitting there hurt and shame flooded over me. We started talking about church discipline and all that fun stuff. I have been kicked out of some church's, and that has left some hurt. But I have done some bad stuff, but I need to remember that is all in the past.
So the question is this, do I want to please people or God. The answer is I want to please God. In earlier sobriety, I know I am still in earlier sobriety, but I did things that I knew were wrong in my heart. I am not doing these things now, but the struggle within is still there.
The positive is that I am aware of these things now and I can let God work these things out. I am not a fan of being single, but instead of me trying to make some thing happen, I am going to try, key word try and wait on God.
I am so glad God forgives me, but true repentance is not doing the sin again. I get to lead the Bible study on chapter six on Monday. An area hat I have confessed and now need to do it Gods way.
Oh if u want to know what I am talking about read the passage.
And at the end of the day God has used all that has happened in my life to help ne be more of a Jesus man.