Oh Diabetes......

Diabetes, what a wonderful thing! I am grateful when I was diagnosed at 14 no one told me how bad it could really get! Over the years you hear people say, don't let the diabetes control you, control your diabetes! Well that's all fine and dandy, but its easier said then done. The last few days I have been feeling like an 80 year old man. I am still hurting from my sledding accident, but that seemed to be getting better but the last few days I have been hurting. Then you thorn in my "mental problems" the major depression and anxiety and it's been a rough few weeks. We all have our thrown in the flesh, but sometimes I would like to just have all the thorns in my life gone.

It is so easy for me to loose perspective on life while I am suffering. I often think what good am I to this world. I try to work for an hour or an hour and a half and I end in bed for three days! It gets so frustrating.

Today I started out o.k. but could not stay for all of the stuff at church today. And Easter is my favorite holiday. And I was planning on being around people today so I would not have a pity party about not being with my kids. But I am learning, slowly, that in these times of pain, frustration, I need to cling to Jesus. And hold on to the verse below!

Come to Me, and I Will Give You Rest

²⁵ At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; ²⁶ yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.^{[g] 27} All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. ²⁸ Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:25-30

It's O.K. to be a looser!

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. Luke 9:23-24 KJV

This verse which I have read many times hit me last night. As I walk through this new journey of faith things in the Bible mean a lot more to me. One of my fears is that people see me as a looser. In the world's eyes I might be, but who I am as a follower of Jesus is found in Jesus Christ. As a Christian we are never promised that it is going to be easy. We want it to be easy, but it's not. So if I am willing to loose every thing for Christ, I will be saving my life. Does not make since if I loose it all I will then gain it all. But this verse is not talking about stuff. If I gave Christ my mind, body and soul I might loose some worldly things but I will gain more than I ever thought it was possible. Like, peace, joy, love, patience and the list goes on. It is so easy for me to justify things that I know that do not honor God. I use to get in to fights with people when they called me a looser. Today I can say thank you! I want to walk the walk more than I talk the talk. God is able to use the losers in the world more than the proud. Or the humble in heart.

The Cross

Wow, I have been slacking on this blog the last few weeks. It's been a good few weeks with some up and downs. It is not all ways so easy trying to be more like Jesus. It is so easy to water down morals when the world says it is o.k. to do this or that. But for me at the end of the day I have to either choose to be a Jesus man or not. I fall on my face with this very often, but like one book says, we are working towards spiritual progress not perfection.

This time of year is pretty tough for me. Easter was a big deal for our family. I like Easter even more than Christmas since without Christ death, we would still be in big trouble. We would all ways make a big deal with the kids on Easter. So since I don't get to see my kids much and wont see them this Easter I am struggling a little bit.

When we think of the cross many of us don't think it's that big of a deal. Since we see the cross so much. But the cross was very painful for Jesus. It's amazing to me how much He gave up to pay for my sin.

Well, going to try and post more often again!

Keep Walking!

Thanks

I don't know if in the blog world over 2,000 page views is a big deal, but for me that is pretty crazy. Since I started Blogging again in October I have hit the 2,000 mark a few days ago. I don't see myself as a good writer. I am pretty much not a good writer. I can preach, teach and talk all day. But thank you to those who are reading this stuff. I would say it is only my family but apparently there are people in other countries reading this. So a big thanks, it gives me something to do. If this blog has encouraged you at all I would love to hear from you. My email is crazyeaches@gmail.com It encourages me to see that people read my blog. I am just a normal guy trying to do the next right thing! Trying to live me like Jesus and less like me!

Keep walking, Peaches

Restored not destroyed

There is times in my life that I feel that I   have screwed up so bad that God will never forgive me or that He will never be able to use me again. Growing up I was taught at an early age that there are certain sins that you just never do. And in my mind I thought that if I commit those sins God will not love me. So I have pretty much committed all of "those sins" in my life. Since I am a big sinner and have committed the "big sins" I have been deemed by some as a looser, unfaithful to the Lord, and you name it I have been called that. I was just the other day thinking that man I got divorced and that's a pretty "Big sin" so I must be in trouble.

Well there is good news for me and other people like me. It's called the GRACE of God!! I could just stop witting now, because that is what it is all about, GRACE! But I am going to continue. A few years ago a friend of mine came to my house and gave me a verse to hold onto. I had forgotten about this verse until the other day. It is found in the book of Joel.

Joel 2:25
²⁵ And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

God will restore me! That is great news. I come to Him confess and repent and I am like new to Him. He unlike me forgets my sin! As you look at the old testament all most all of the great men and women of the Bible screwed up, but God still used them. In the New Testament Peter denied, yes denied Christ three times. But God restored him and He was an important piece for the new Church as you read through the book of Acts. There is no losers in the family of God. There are no second rate Christians. God takes our failers and turns them into victories! And when it comes to sin, sin is sin. We classify sin. We have big sins and small sins. But in God's eyes sin is sin. So has Charlie Daniels says, "Lets make this day count!" Paul tells us to stop looking back and look forward and keep walking!

Am I willing to stay?

Have you ever gone to a church service where you feel it was all geared toward you? Not that the pastor or the music leader did it on purpose, that God geared the music and the message for you. Well that happened to me today. The Second Hymn of the day:

"Precious Lord, Take My Hand"

"Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, help me stand I am tired, I am weak, I am worn, Thru the storm, thru the night, lead me on to the light Take my hand, precious Lord, Lead me home."

"When my way grows drear, precious Lord, Linger near When my life is almost gone Hear my cry, Hear my call, hold my hand lest I fall Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me Home"

Talk about a song that I feel like I am living right now! And all the songs had that theme but that one hit me the most. In the sermon the question was asked am I willing to go where the Lord wants me? For me the question is more like am I willing to stay where the Lord wants me? And I never have looked at it that way before. I have heard sermon's like this before and of course Isiah 6:8 was read. The Lord asked Isaiah whom shall I send and Isaiah answered send me. My pastor all so talked about Jonah. And yes Johan was asked to go. He did not want to go and then He was forced to go.

For me the question is am I willing to stay. I came back to Ames to see my kids more. That is not working out so well. So I want to just leave. It has not been easy being here. My health has taken a dive and I have been really lonely. So today loud and clear I heard God ask me, Are you willing to stay in Ames and serve me. And today the answer is yes. I don't know what I am suppose to do here. I don't even know what my purpose in life is any more. But yes Lord use me I am willing!

Discipline

Suffering can come in different ways. Some suffering is caused by our own stupid actions and sins. Like for me when I went through my divorce. I caused it, but it still hurt and was painful. When I was still drinking I cause a lot of health issues, though I caused it, it was still painful. So when I sin I have consequences to those sins. The bible tells us once we ask for forgiveness God forgives us, but that does not mean the consequences of our sin goes away. Because of my poor choices and sins I am still struggling through the consequences of it. I cant see my kids. That is a huge and hurtful one. But what I tend to do is to forget to lean on Jesus. I might never get to do what I love to do again, but maybe I will. God is a good Father and He disciplines those whom He loves. Not to be a mean and hurtful Father, but a loving Father that uses these things in our lives to bring us back to Him. Pastor Tom Nessbitt use to say that if you don't ever get disciplined by God you might not be one of His. I think the passage below really explains it well! One warning, it would be easy to think that because you are sick or going through something is a result of discipline. Well that is not the case. Sometimes we are sick because we are just sick. God is allowing it in our lives. Or we are going through a tough time because we are just going through a tough time. And God uses those things to mold us and make us better because of it. We usually in our hearts know the difference. Because only us know if we have been sinning which we need discipline for or we have not.

Hebrews 12
³ Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. ⁴ In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
    nor be weary when reproved by him.
⁶ For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and chastises every son whom he receives.”

⁷ It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? ⁸ If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. ⁹ Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? ¹⁰ For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. ¹¹ For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.