Feeling like giving up!

The pain continues to be so bad I just don't know what to do anymore! The feeling of giving up is so strong. I am just so tired of being hungry all the time and in pain. The pull of just taking a bunch of anxiety pills has been strong the last couple of days. 

Then I guess I guess I had a pity party at church yesterday, yes I had a pity party. I am told to do outreach but the new budget came out and they didn't even meet me in the middle with money to work with. 

My emotions are pretty raw right now doing a lot of crying! 

I know I can't give up but it's getting hard! I am back to reading the bible in 90 days again. Trying to bath myself with scripture. Not doing it for any glory but to become more like Jesus! 

There has to be a reason for this trial, for this valley. Right now it doesn't seem like I am ever going to get through this. 

Oh God give me some Hope during this storm!