Here we go again

In the hospital again. In Ames this time. Getting great care so far. Stomach just not wanting to work. Been in here since Sunday. If my stomach does not start working they might have to put a feeding tube back in. It's sure a struggle!

Frustrated

I am growing weary of my continued sickness. My heart feels like I have been abandoned by God and His people. Just read the first two chapters of Job and read 2 Corinthians 12 about Paul's thorn in the flesh. I realize that today I am not suffering well and my faith is weak. I see no light at the end if the tunnel. My attitude has and is poor. I see my stomach doctor tomorrow and feel like there is no point. I don't feel like he listens to me.
But today right now my prayer is that God will help me change my attitude. That today I will be more like Job and Paul. I need to cling to Him.
I see two doctors this week my stomach doctor and the blood/cancer doctor. Please pray that my stomach doc listens and that with the other doc that I will get some clear answers.
I am going to keep walking today.

Health Update September 17

Went and saw my regular doctor today. My stomach is still not working very well. My stomach issue is called Gastroparesis, which is caused by the diabetes. It's where the stomachs muscles don't contract like they should and is slow at empting. When the stomach is not doing good I get where I am stopped up and sometimes start throwing up. That's when I have to go to the hospital. So I am getting sent to a stomach doc. Not sure what he can do, but we will see.

I all so have leukepenia which is low white blood cell count. So for that I see a blood/cancer doctor. I saw him last week in the hospital and he took a bunch of test. I see him for the results next Wednesday. There is a bunch of stuff it could be. I have been having lot's of weakness and getting all kinds of infections. Don't feel like doing much.

Got a lot going on. This has been a real rough last couple of weeks. Just wanted to give everyone an update. In all this it has been hard but I know God is in Control!

 
I am going to keep walking!

Dealing with Suffering Part 2

When you are sick or suffering what is the hardest part for you?

For me it's loneliness . I am a people person and like to be around people all the time. But when I am sick I don't get out much and I don't have many vistors. Each person is diffrent in that. Some people don't want to see anyone and others like to have people come and visit them. So if your a well person, call your friend who is struggling and see if they want visitors. Another thing I struggle with is wondering if this sickness is ever going to end. I have been sick now for pretty much two months. It is hard to all ways have a good attitude. Sometimes I throw my fist up to heaven and yell at God. That does not all ways work out well for me, but I think God understands.

 So, we all struggle when we are sick or we are suffering. We can rest in that fact that God is in control. We, you and me are going to be loneliness, get depressed, feel no one care, and the list could go on. But, we need to hold on to the fact that God is God and He is allowing this to happen for a reason. Sometimes you find out the reason for fast, but sometimes you find out years later, and sometimes we might not know until we get to heaven.

 Look at Job in the Bible. He was a pretty stand up guy! The Bible gives us a glimpse of how things work in heaven. Satan came to God, and God brought up Job. Satan had to ask permission to do anything to Job. WOW! So God let Satan do his thing, yet Job stayed faithful to the Lord. Job lost everything. If you have not read the book of Job, it's a long book but good! Job had some friends. If you ever have suffered for a long period of time you probably had friends like these. People saying things like, your sick because you have sin in your life. Yes God sometimes gets our attention that way. But most of the time we are suffering or sick because we just are. Like I said in my last post, it might be to show others that even in low times a person can still hold on to Jesus. Over the years I have heard it all. I have been told I don't have enough faith. With all the diabetic experts out there I have been told I eat bad, though how do they really know. 

So, have peace that God knows what is going on and He is in control. Seek Him when you are sick and suffering. Don't listen to lies that others tell you. They might be trying to help, but it sure can be discouraging!

 Was going to try and finish this little series I got going today, but not feeling to good. So there will be a part three. Keep walking.....

Another Hospital Visit!

I had anohter hospital visit this week. Started throwing up again so I was in the hospital for a few days. They let me out yesterday. Sent me home with meds and got some appoinments next week. While I was in there I saw the cancer/blood doctor, they are concerned about my white blood cell count. He did a bunch of blood test and won't know anything until they get the results.

In my twenties I bounced back from being in the hospital pretty fast. But these days it takes a lot longer. It is hard waiting for results on blood test. They are not sure what is going on with my white blood cell count, but they think something is going on. Any thing from anemia, to Lupus or some kind of cancer. I am hoping the results will come in pretty soon. I don't think it's cancer, but God has given me peace about it all. And what happens, happens!

This hospital visit was pretty good. Got my stomach going. I like the Boone Hospital. I get good care there. I am going to much since all the staff are getting to know me pretty well. I really tried to suffer well and still trying as I am home to suffer well with a good attitude. Like I said in my last post I don't all ways do the best sometimes at suffering well.

Today I am working on accepting things in my life. Big thing is my health. Another thing is my Aunt Pat passed away this week. So my dad is in Ohio so I will be alone off and on this weekend. Which when I feel this sick I don't like. It's nice having someone here checking on me. Aunt Pat had type one diabetes, so had many health struggles but she was a fighter.

The big book says, we are working for "spiritual progress not spiritual perfection. I really like that. I think sometimes I think I have to be this perfect person. But the spiritual life is a daily thing, deciding to walk in faith every day!

 

Today I am going to hold on to Jesus!

Dealing with Suffering part 1

I was given a book recently called "Living Successfully with Chronic Illness". My first reaction to the book is laughter. Now I have not started reading the book yet and I am sure it will be helpful. But if you struggle with a chronic illness you will understand my response. People struggle with many things in life. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with Type one diabetes. Changed my life forever. The last year and really the last couple of months have been rough. Got some other health issues not related to the diabetes that they are trying to figure out. But the title of the book got me thinking, how should I as a Christian handle Chronic Illness or just plain suffering. Pain, suffering, illness, death, and a lot more is going to happen in our lives. I will be hontest, I have not all ways handled my bad health the best. It is so easy to go into self pity. I had a thought the other day. And I think it was from God. First, I believe that some people are just called to suffer. As Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:10 "that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in harships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong". Christ is Paul's

Christ's is Paul's every thing. The one he clings to. And we should all so do that.

Here is point number 2, and this is where I am at. We suffer so we can encourge others. Maybe I am called in this life to suffer to bring Him glory. Maybe not, but we should all encourage each other. Epically if we can understand what that person has gone through.

2 Corinthians 1 New International Version (NIV)

Praise to the God of All Comfort

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,^(H) the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us^(I) in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ,^(J) so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation;^(K) if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings,^(L) so also you share in our comfort.

⁸ We do not want you to be uninformed,^(M) brothers and sisters,^[a] about the troubles we experienced^(N) in the province of Asia.^(O) We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. ⁹ Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God,^(P) who raises the dead.^{(Q) 10} He has delivered us from such a deadly peril,^(R) and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope^(S) that he will continue to deliver us, ¹¹ as you help us by your prayers.^(T) Then many will give thanks^(U) on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

This is part one, so stay tuned to the next post. Brain not working very well these days, well it never worked well any way.
Keep walking...

Never give up!

 

 

Do you ever feel like giving up? I know there are times that I do. Being a type one diabetic it's seems like I am all ways I a battle! Then it seems that every time I go to the doctor something else is wrong. The last two days God has given me a lot of peace with some health issue stuff going on. Hebrews 12 tells us to keep our eyes on Jesus the Author and finisher of our faith!

 

I love the first picture where the frog is not giving up. Life feels that way sometimes. I am about to be swolled up. And the mouse with the cheese reminds me of how I do sometimes. I know there might be pain, but I got to keep going on towards the goal. And what's the goal for me? It is to hold on to Jesus no matter what happens in life!

Laugh a little!

 

I think to many of us take ourselves to seriously. If you have been alive long you know that God has a sense of humor. We get so caught up with life that we forget to enjoy it. In some church's I think it's sin to laugh! I sure get in my moods where I think the sky is falling, but even if it is I know God is in control. So let's all do ourselves a favor today and laugh a little! 

Bad Hair day, God looks at the heart

 

 

 

Ever have a bad hair day? And if you do, you probably try and fix whatever you can before you go out of the house. We are so concerned with our look good! With how we look to others. Our clothes, cars, houses and you could add to the list. When we go to church we tend to want to look our best. Maybe you make sure you wear the nicest suit you can or the prettiest dress so you can impress someone. We tend to judge people by there outer appearance. Many of us are so good on putting on our "look good" on the outside, but we might be hearting in the inside. We might look like the "perfect Christian" to everyone on the outside by doing the right things in front of people and dressing nice. There is an old saying, " I don't drink, chew, or go out with girls who do".

 

1 Samuel 16  ⁷ But the Lord said to Samuel, ^(K)“Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, ^(L)but the Lord looks on the heart.”

  

We see here that God looks at our heart! The church today has a problem with being real with each other. Someone might find out that, wait for it, or sinners! We snub our noses at certain people and sins. We rush to our car so we don't have to give our change to a homeless person. We judge the single woman who just found out that she is pregnant. As we judge others by the outward appearance we might be struggling with pride, bitterness, anger, over eating, lust and again the list could go on.

A lot of times we act more like the Pharisees than we would like to admit. Look at the verses below:

 

Matthew 23:25-28English Standard Version (ESV)

^25 (A)“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For ^(B)you clean the outside of ^(C)the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of ^(D)greed and self-indulgence. ²⁶ You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of ^(E)the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.
^27 (F)“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like ^(G)whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and ^(H)all uncleanness. ²⁸ So you also ^(I)outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of ^(J)hypocrisy and lawlessness.

 

As we look at the above passage could Jesus say this about you? You might do all the religious activities, but are we walking as Jesus did? I struggle with pride. I never thought I did, but the more I grow in Christ the more I see it. I tend to think I am better than others. That's kind of funny since I am nothing without Christ. On my own I made a mess with my life.

 

It's time! Time for what you ask? It's time for us to focus more on our hearts and minds and less on the outside. I could go and by my almost two year old nephew a brand new suit. Made him look like a million bucks. He would start the day out looking pretty good. What would he look like at the end of the day? He would still look like a two year old. With food on his clothes and that new suit coat might even be ripped or muddy. So when you dress up and look at nice what do you look like at the end of the day. The answer is you. You can try to put on the best looking mask but you come home with your feelings, your thoughts, and your sins.

 

I think we would be different people if we were honest to our Christians brothers and sisters! I think the world would see a difference if we stopped acting like Christians and being like Christ!

 

Keep walking....